Friendship is Witchcraft



Friendship is Witchcraft [abbreviated FiW] is an overhyped abridged series that lacks all the witty humor most abridged writers are obligated to use in order to be successful. Lucky for them, this series has ponies, which as we all know, can boost your views on anything that shows up on the internet. Guaranteed! And at this rate, they won't be disappearing anytime soon. Not at all. Spewing massive content at a rate of a whopping five episodes a year, they are obviously a fast working team. In the end, the fandom has never failed to go fully fledged apeshit when a new episode is released.

How an Episode is Written
The writers have never disclosed any intel regarding their inspiration, but ancient philosophers have brought us a report of how they believe it goes. The writing team would simply lock a bunch of highly trained monkeys in a room, Take a script out of a random episode where they would resort to playing a game of mad libs. Needless to say, the overarching evidence that backs these claims speaks for itself.


 * The Perfect Swarm


 * Fluttershy brings a cute little creature from the Everfree Forest, feeding them as they bud into more creatures to the point where they infest the entire town of Ponyville. Then Pinkie Pie saves the day by diverting them to a marching band back to their homeland before Princess Celestia suspects a thing. Yep, nothing like the original. Nothing at all.


 * Read it And Sleep


 * Just like the original, this episode was long and played out. Applejack and Rarity have a sleepover at Twilight's, and it turns into just a bunch of drama. Theres nothing that can salvage this episode anyways. Also apparently Applejack and Rarity were drafted in WW1.


 * Cute From the Hip


 * This episode and beyond is when the fandom began to crave for moar. Its basically the original episode with a few lines tampered with, except that Cheerilee teaches the class that their fellow friends could be closet robots. Oh, and Pinkie sings a catchy tune.


 * Neigh Soul Sister


 * A whole episode dedicated to Sweetie Bot. (OMG YES!!!) The world comes to an end. Oh wait, no it doesn't, false alarm. Sweetie Belle and Rarity try to renew their relationship. Due to Sweetie Bot's antics, I guess this episode is less fail compared to the other ones, but still spews irrelevant garbage that doesn't contribute to the plot.


 * Lunar Slander


 * This episode peaked the top ten pony videos of the month, because it was obviously that great. Lol, I can't even joke about that. Just do yourself a favor and click something else; you don't want to stay here. This was by far the biggest piece of garbage to come out of the series, full of plot holes, and bleeding of anachronisms. (Really? Danny Phantom Deviantart accounts? I thought this was supposed to be like the middle ages or something!) I mean the story arc in the previous episodes about self-unaware robots seems reasonable because it suggests that they're foreign technology. But this is just deplorable. And the comic relief is the same shit tier.


 * It opens with a title card claiming to have been DMCA'd by Dole and they have to censor every single apple. Then Twilight makes her appearance claiming to have worn a beard at the Grand Galloping Gal-are you sure you wanna keep reading? Theres still time to go back! Okay then. So Twilight greets her first trick-or treaters (or whatever theyre called in this world) and gives them shitty fanfictions instead. On her way to city hall, she goes off on a rant about how anime is awesome. And you wouldn't believe it, Rainbow Dash comes up and scares Spike, then tells Twilight to lighten up. There from Town hall, Zecora tells the legend of Nightmare Night, all of which is exactly like the original. So now its not actually developing a unique plot, its just wasting time.


 * So as soon as Twilight befriends Luna, they discuss how much they fawn over anime. (Wait, how can they know about anime anyways, they themselves are ani- you know what, don't even bother questioning it.) So Luna introduces herself through song, which have the most half-assed lyrics yet, and the melody isn't really any better. Twilight takes her to ponyville to seek acceptance, just like the original fucking episode. But with Luna's nasally accent, and the annoying censor bars over everything that involves apples, its beyond pointless. And in return, Twilight wants to be made into an alicorn princess, and how the hell do they even think they can pull that off? Simple, they don't. After this episode, it's as if it never happened.


 * But of course, this is a Luna episode, and as we all know, Lunafags are the bottom rung of the piece of shit we call a fandom. So it's no surprise they gobble down this piece of shit.


 * Cherry Bomb


 * Oh good this episode is only ten minutes long, theres no way it can't be another long and played out piece of- WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN IPOD NANOS? How can they even hold those things; they have hooves!


 * Apparently the point of this episode is for Applejack to "retrieve her two free ipod nanos", and wire them up to the whole town with hundreds of headphone splitters. Yeah, it gets that corny. First of all, if they are so technologically advanced have ipod in this universe, why is it that they don't have computers? Or anything remotely close to that era? Well good thing they never get them, because the degree of awkwardness of this opening storyline couldn't get much worse.


 * Turns out Applejack was enslaved. Hahaha, oh wow. Now the story gets juicy. And if she leaves the orchard, the bomb in her backpack detonates. Theres no plot holes to this one, no-siree. After all, she would never be smart enough to just fucking LEAVE THE TICKING BOMB AT THE ORCHARD. AND THEY SACRIFICED A WHOLE FUCKNG CLOUD BECAUSE OF IT, A WHOLE FUCKING CLOUD!